Sunday, July 24, 2011

BADASSDOM! (and why is LARP so lame)

First check out that trailer.  Looks awesome!!  Peter Dinklage ... Summer Glau ... Danny Pudi ... in the same movie about geek shit.  Come on this is going to be hilariously good!

Ok second and this was sparked from a discussion the local game group forums.

I'm a jerk for saying this but I feel compelled none the less.

Ok long ago in the days of yor in the garage of old ... we had a summit of begutted self proclaimed wise men to discuss LARP and why it was so epically gay ... sorry that is offensive to the gay community to link them with LARP in any way ... lets instead go with LAME ... as it were (and is).

The panel decided that for the following reasons LARP is actually classified as the epitome of lame, the saddest of activities that the vast majority of geeks are unwilling to accept.  Why though?

First and foremost its an activity that the very obese (peeps who make me look svelte) seem to gravitate towards. However perhaps the largest group of LARPers is the terribly socially awkward set.  People who just don't know how to interact with other humans at all on a common wavelength.   Toss in a good mix of folks who don't understand personal hygiene and you have your typical LARP group. Ultimately these groups unite to make LARP look like one of the singularly most lame things one could possibly do to all of us outsiders.

This is sad because really LARP could be cool ... it really really could be a fun cool activity.  There is really nothing more lame about the concept of LARP vs the concept of pen and paper RPGs.  Yet in practice ... yes there are some super lame D&D groups out there ... but by and large most RPG groups are kinda tame and don't really differ much from your average group playing a board game.  Why could LARP be cool and fun?  LARP could combine community theater, improvisational acting and perhaps even historical reenacting with gaming.  In concept that could really be cool if well executed.

Well that trailer sure makes it look badass eh.  I mean if hot chicks and cool dwarfs LARP'd in large enough quantities ... who the hell wouldn't want to LARP.  See that is the key there ... cute girls and more normal people (lets face it truly mainstream people would NEVER LARP) don't NOT LARP in high enough numbers to make the activity cool.  Boffer LARP I think might be in some areas an exception due to an odd association with martial arts, but boffer LARP is pretty lame too for the same reasons in general.

Hell ren-fair/SCA stuff struggles with that and its alot more acceptable because they are for the most part a historical reenacting group that practices crafting, etc.

I said years ago and I'll say again ... I can make LARP cool ... instantly.  How??

Simple ... give me ten average to hot girls ... (need at least 2 or 3 very hot girls).  Five somewhat normal dudes.  Most of the people in the group need to be intelligent.  You mix that up and that could be the foundation of a decent LARP group.  You can mix in 10 more people ... a couple socially awkward people ... a couple ultra-fatties ... and it would still probably be ok.  As long as the ratio of somewhat cute girls to the overall group size is about 30% ... and the overall semi-normal intelligent person ratio didn't drop below 60%  ... it would be fun and cool.

As we all know actual LARP never approaches those ratios and therefore is doomed to be eternally lame.

For proof of this I hold up Cos-Play ... how the fuck is Cos-Play now nearly mainstream (in the geek world anyway).  Simple ... the ratios listed above.

(half serious ... half satirical ... half sarcastic !!!  INDEED!!)

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